A question I get asked a lot on msn is: What are gorons, and why are they stupid? Hopefully this page will answer all your questions.
Gorons look like this:
Gorons are basically these large, tough-looking, creatures that eat rocks. But they only eat certain rocks. They walk pretty slow, so when they need to get around quickly, they curl up and roll around.
In this game, Link (the main character hero dude, if you didn't know) has to perform a bunch of different tasks and defeat dungeons to rescue Princess Zelda, the land of Hyrule, and defeat the evil Ganondorf. But I'm not going to go into much detail because I'm only talking about gorons.
In this game, Ganondorf seals up the goron's only food source; Dodongo's Cavern, where the goron's favorite rocks are located. He does this because Darunia, the goron leader, refuses to give him the Spiritual Stone of Fire, aka the Goron's Ruby. So anyway Ganondorf seals up Dodongo's Cavern (which makes me wonder, if he could go to all that trouble, why didn't he just knock Darunia out and take the Ruby?) . The thing is, the Gorons live on a mountain. Mountains generally have a lot of rocks. But see, the gorons are so used to the "gourmet" rocks from Dodongo's cavern that they'd rather starve then eat anything else. Proving gorons are really, really stupid. I mean, if I was starving, I'd eat tree bark, but no, they HAVE to have the GOURMET rocks from Dodongo's Cavern.
So anyway, as Link, you have to go see Darunia, where he starts yelling about how you're not the royal family's messenger and this is a goron problem anyway, so go away. So you play him this Ocarina song, and then he's all like, well, I'll give you the Goron Ruby if you kill all the monsters in Dodongo's cavern. He gives you the braclet to pick up bomb flowers with. So you now go and blow up the entrance to Dodongo's Cavern. Why didn't the gorons think of that? There is a bomb flower RIGHT ABOVE the rock in front of the cavern. There is even a goron sitting right next to it! Yet they could not figure out how to blow up the rock themselves. They had to get a little kid to do it.
So, you go and defeat all the monsters and such, and Darunia shows up and starts talking about how great you are and (finally) gives you the Goron's Ruby. Then a bunch of gorons try to hug you and Link runs away screaming.
In this game, Link has to try and defeat the Skull Kid and get Majora's Mask back before the moon crashes into the world and destroys everything. Unfortunatly this means helping the gorons.
Kid Goron - one of the gorons in this game is a little baby goron. He won't shut up crying so you have to play him this song you learn from the elder goron (who thinks he can get all the way to snowhead although it takes him three days to move four feet ahead), and then the little goron stops crying, and stands up and starts singing. This is particularly painful to listen to and probably one of the reasons why LoZ: MM is one of the lowest-rated Zelda games (although personally it's one of my favorites)
And anyway, now is the really cool part! There's this huge-ass goron sitting in front of the Snowhead Temple who won't let you get by. You play the Goron's Lullaby for him and he falls asleep and falls off the cliff!!! At first I though he died after this but apparently he doesn't, dammit.
And one more thing: there's this one goron sitting on a two-foot high cliff, every time you go over to him he starts whining about how he's going to freeze to death. So you have to go through a huge amount of trouble to get a rock steak, bring it to him, throw it at him, and he eats it, and "magically" has the energy to jump off this two foot high cliff. How the hell did he get there in the first place, anyway?
Oh yeah, I almost forgot the powder keg goron. See, you can use powder kegs to blow up really, really big rocks. But you have to go through an extensive test to get a permit to use them (or something like that). So, nevermind you just saved all the gorons from freezing to death and perishing and all that, the stupid asshole goron makes you carry a lighted powder keg that could blow up any second all the way to the racetrack to destroy a rock. How the hell does he even know if you got it there or not, anyway?
The Goron Mask : In Majora's Mask, Link can gather different kinds of masks, each with a special ability (although some are really useless). Some of the masks have the power to alter Link's form. One of these is the Goron mask.
The only useful thing Goro-Link can really do is roll around and make spikes come out of his back. This is actually pretty cool. But other than that, the entire Snowhead Temple is such a bitch because you're in Goron form most of the time. Attacking enemies is hard, because it takes Link something like two seconds to gear up for a punch and they've usually attacked you by then. When Goron Link is atatcked, he yells, falls on the floor, and takes about three seconds to get up. So his punch is powerful, but useless against most enemies. I hate this mask.
The gorons in this game are actually pretty cool. For one thing, most all of them are dead. There's only about three left.
I wonder how they died? I figure when (spoilers) Hyrule flooded, they climbed to the top of Death Mountain (which wasn't flooded over), however, there rock supply WAS drowned. So they all starved to death except for a few. Hey, seeing how stupid the gorons are about food, it's entirely possible.
Anyway, let's review the reasons Gorons are stupid:
All in all, gorons just suck. If you really need any more reason, I suggest you play LoZ: OoT and let yourself get run over by the small rolling goron every time you try to climb death mountain.
I am done.